Wake Me Up Before You Go Go : A Breakthrough!

Last night I had a really down night, I felt rubbish and at 10.30pm I wanted something tasty, and nothing would satisfy me so I drove to Tesco ( at 10.30pm!) and bought ice cream and doughnuts and malteasers and then ate all of it. Did it make me feel better? Did I feel fulfilled and satisfied? NO! I felt uncomfortable, over full, sick and still fed up, but not more-so because I'd eaten all that rubbish! Then I couldn't sleep for thinking about it.

Our alarm clock is one which you can dock your iPhone and have it wake you up with music, and it was on shuffle. So I woke up to a song I've not heard before, called "Jump" by Gary Barlow. I woke up as soon as I heard the first bit of music and lay there listening to it and it really put into words how I was feeling. (Here are the lyrics in case you don't know the song)

Its basically about how you feel really rubbishy and down and you know what you have to do to make you feel better, to make your life better but you are too scared to do it in case you fail. And yes, you might fail but as long as you try again you will be stronger afterwards. It really touched me and made me think. Why did I 'need' to eat chocolate and ice cream last night? Well, since I still felt rubbish after I ate it, it obviously wasnt the chocolate I wanted, but I have associated feeling down/depressed/annoyed/rubbish with eating that kind of food so thats what I wanted and in my mind 'needed' to make myself feel better. I actually thought I was feeling depressed BECAUSE I was 'dieting' but that is obviously not true. So, my breakthrough this morning is to not dive straight for 'bad' food when I feel bad, but to try and dig deeper and try to find out what I actually want, what I am feeling. Its about time I sort this out and crack it before I end up putting the weight I've lost back on and more and more. Im almost 29 and I really want to sort myself out, get my weight off before I end up fat and 30!

"...maybe once or twice you’ll fall flat on your face

But when you move on you’ll be twice as strong..."